Al and Cal Homes and Community: The Line Between Friendship and Business Part 2

The Line Between Friendship and Business Part 2

The Line Between Friendship and Business Part 2

(in a never ending series)

My Friend, relative, etc, is a Realtor Should I Hire Her?

It's a good question and one that comes up frequently.    I should preface this by saying that many of my friends and relatives are clients of mine.  They are highly, highly valued.    Sometimes the line between friendship and business from my point of view is not easy.   Why?   When dealing with a friend or relative I am overprotective.   Now that is not a bad thing for them, but for me it causes many nights of interrupted sleep.    What can go wrong during a real estate transaction?   The list is too long to write and I have spent many a night tossing and turning over the what if's that can come up.   Regardless, for me, there is nothing more rewarding than helping to find a friend their home or to help them with the home sale process.    friends working together

So, back to the question?     Should I hire her or him?

The answer is simple.   Of course you should if they meet the following qualifications!   

Is she/he qualified do the job?   Is he/she a full time Realtor?    Is she/he experienced with proven results?   Will she be responsive and available to you?    Do you believe they that she/he will represent you in the highest degree?  Trustworthy and honest?    Does she/he have an outstanding reputation in their field?   Marketing plans or home search plans that will fit your needs?    Can she negotiate effectively on your behalf?    Are you comfortable with her/him?    Does she provide a service guarantee?    You get the drift.

I guess the question might be more like why shouldn't you?    I have heard the argument (p.s. from my mother) that you shouldn't do business with friends.   I think that is crazy and say why not??    Who would have your best interest at heart more than your friend or relative?    Who would want to see you succeed more than a friend?   

One might say that if something goes wrong your friendship might be forever damaged.    I think that by not using a friend in business whenever possible might produce the same effect.

Buying or Selling Real Estate is a high charged emotional purchase no matter the reason for your move.  

Yes, it is business.   Of the most important kind.



The line between friendship and business part 1


Carol-Ann Palmieri

Al and Cal Realty Group

Remax Executive Realty




Comment balloon 12 commentsCarol-Ann Palmieri • June 01 2012 04:14AM


Carol Ann: At the end of the day, sellers should hire the person who will do the best job of marketing their home.  If that is a relative or friend, great, but it may be someone entirely different.

Posted by Anita Clark, Realtor - Homes for Sale in Warner Robins GA (ColdwellBanker SSK Realtors ~ 478.960.8055) over 6 years ago

Hi Anita.   They have to meet your qualifications.

Posted by Carol-Ann Palmieri, "Cal" the Real Estate Gal (RE/MAX Executive Realty, Al and Cal Realty Group) over 6 years ago

Good morning, Carol Ann.... I always had a policy of never doing business with family or close friends.... I would refer the business to someone in the office or on my team who I trusted completely.... your mother is right.....

Posted by Barbara Todaro, "Franklin MA Homes" (RE/MAX Executive Realty ) over 6 years ago

Hi Barbara.  LOL, of course you and Fran would agree!  

Posted by Carol-Ann Palmieri, "Cal" the Real Estate Gal (RE/MAX Executive Realty, Al and Cal Realty Group) over 6 years ago

Great post Cal, all too often we see out of area listing agents because they are friends or relatives of the seller.  There is a terrible disservice there.

Posted by Al Raymondi, Ormond By The Sea Florida - Home and Condo Sales (Ocean View Realty Group in Ormond By The Sea Florida) over 6 years ago

Might I suggest that you and your mother are both right? Qualifications are important. However, sometimes they are not a deciding factor. There are so many scenarios, and reasons to use or not use the services of a friend or family member in a real estate transaction. Some are mentioned in your qualifications list.

What if you don't want your family member or friend to know more than they already do about your financial status? What if you don't want to risk your relationship and/or friendship on a highly charged financial transaction? What if you feel that a local agent could do a better job? (re: Al's comment #5.) The list goes on. I think it is important for agents to understand that if their friend or relative doesn't choose to hire them, that they are usually making that decision with the belief that it will best accomplish their goals, and possibly keep a friendship or family relationship in better condition than if they were to hire you. So we need to respect their decision, regardless of who they choose to hire.

By the way, are you a successful, full time agent? And have you been sending them your marketing materials on a regular basis too? If not, maybe you don't deserve their consideration.

Posted by Jeff Hollister, Real Estate Broker, Serving Orange County, CA (Native Californian with 20 years serving OC Buyers & Sellers) over 6 years ago

Hi Al.   I agree. Friends or no, not knowing the market is a huge disservice!   Thanks for reading!




Posted by Carol-Ann Palmieri, "Cal" the Real Estate Gal (RE/MAX Executive Realty, Al and Cal Realty Group) over 6 years ago

Hi Jeff.     I totally agree with Al.   Taking a job, not knowing the marketplace or being able to perform to the highest standard is doing someone, anyone a disservice.    I am happy to report that I am a full time veteran of this business for 25 years.   More than 90% of my business is referral based.   So I hope I have that covered.   I do understand your point of view there.   My way of thinking in life is to use friends and family (if qualified) whenever possible, especially for large complicated transactions and such important things like  medical situations.   Some call me crazy, I also try and buy American whenever possible, which of course is getting more and more difficult.   

Thanks for weighing in.  I appreciate your thoughts!

Posted by Carol-Ann Palmieri, "Cal" the Real Estate Gal (RE/MAX Executive Realty, Al and Cal Realty Group) over 6 years ago


I really like your article. We mixed friendship with a business deal one time and it totally back fired on us. Somehow our Ex-friend was mad at us when the bank we ere using required a seriously higher downpayment for this condo we were buying from the now Ex-friend. We did not have the extra cash available for this type of 2 nd home purchase and we had to walk away. The bank wanted the extra cash beyond the 20 % downpayment due to the fact the local market was in a nose dive.I guess he is pissed because we did not relieve him of his loser investment. Oh well..

All I have to say is be careful when mixing friendship with buisness. I will suggest you blog and I hope all is well with you and your Mom.

Posted by Robert Bob Gilbert, Your Katy TX ( West of Houston) Real Estate Expert (Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Anderson Properties) over 6 years ago

Hi Bob.   Thank you and welcome home.  I hope you had a great time and the other stuff got straightened out.    Your friend was a jerk and didn't have your best interest at heart obviously.   Mom is doing better.   Thanks for thinking of her.   

Posted by Carol-Ann Palmieri, "Cal" the Real Estate Gal (RE/MAX Executive Realty, Al and Cal Realty Group) over 6 years ago

I have sold many of my relatives homes... I have also had some not use me and I have to say, I was insulted... My husband is the opposite.. he doesn't want me taking on family in case something goes wrong.. So far, all that I have done for family and friends has gone very smoothly. (knock on wood)

Posted by Sheila Newton Team Anderson & Greenville SC, Selling the Upstate since 1989 (Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - C. Dan Joyner) over 6 years ago

Hi Sheila.    I don't know where I would be without friends and family.   Personally and professionally!


Posted by Carol-Ann Palmieri, "Cal" the Real Estate Gal (RE/MAX Executive Realty, Al and Cal Realty Group) over 6 years ago